And suddenly, everything felt off. The things I would do, what I would say, the way I carried myself, how I showed up in life, it all felt… not me.
When did I start caring so much about feeling important? Needing to walk into a room and feel significant. Who is this person? When did I start believing I’m annoying to everyone? Maybe it was when I was eight, when my aunt sighed in exasperation and told me I was “so annoying.”
Then the dots started to connect. Every time I tried to feel important, I’d hear that voice in my head saying, “You’re being annoying.” And every time I tried to shrink myself to avoid being annoying, I’d feel like I wasn’t important anymore.
As I recognized the battle between these two tender childhood wounds, I softly dressed them with the love they had always been seeking.
Then the voices quieted. And beneath the veil was the “Grace” who was born into this world.
The feeling of freedom returned, heavy emotions melting off my shoulders. A desire to take my life in the direction I had always envisioned as a child, began to unfold.
I no longer needed to “fix” everyone in my path to feel important. In fact, I began to see how that could be insulting to some. Everyone is on their own journey, and they will find their answers in perfect timing. As that dissolved, naturally the feeling of being a nuisance seem to fade away too. Then, I began to gravitate back to what lights me up: art, telling stories, and creating beauty. But this time giving myself full permission to go all in and let go of everything else that no longer holds weight over me.
I believe there is an eternal light within each of us, and it is our duty to unveil it and let it fully shine. For me, this feels like the beginning of allowing that light to shine.
This story features my newest original acrylic/oil painting “Eternal Glow” now available!